


Soldat

by rinnya



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant, Dehumanization, Gen, Hydra (Marvel), Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Minor Original Character(s), Original Character-centric, POV First Person, POV Minor Character, POV Outsider, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-13 21:17:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10522041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinnya/pseuds/rinnya
Summary: “Soldat,” she says. It says nothing.The handler looks bored. “It will not reply you.”She shrugs, barely.“What was his mission?” She tries to make conversation.“An assassination,” the handler replies curtly. The lab technicians scurry around the room, then leave, like mice. The handler watches them.“Who?” she asks.“You’re a smart girl,” the handler says. He leaves the room, and she flips the switch.The Winter Soldier screams.(She does not sleep.)Or: A look into The Winter Soldier's time under Hydra as told from the eyes of one of Hydra's doctors.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story follows Ivanna, a doctor assigned to The Winter Soldier.  
> A look into The Winter Soldier's time under Hydra as told from the eyes of one of Hydra's doctors.  
> Story set a few years before Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

**Soldat.**

The job promotion shocks her more than the head rolling by her feet. 

Her new case, even more so; The Winter Soldier, a ghost.

They give her a file, a manilla folder, 4 pages; physical attributes, misson catalogue, reconditioning protocols, trigger words and effects - all 4 just lists in bullet points. There is no name, no birthday, no photograph. 

(She knows The Winter Soldier is a human. Was.)

(it’s a dehumanizing method.)

 

There is a break of protocol. All non-military personnel should know faces of only a direct superior, direct subordinates, case colleagues. She meets more influential people than she thinks works for Hydra.

She meets Senator Pierce.

(He grins like a shark.)

 

She watches the cryogenic chamber open, there is a man, The Winter Soldier.

(She recognizes his face. It is in her fifth grade history textbooks.) 

There are faceless, nameless lab technicians. They know what to do, one of them hands her a file, 1 page; cryogenic protocols. 

The handler, (of a weapon,) is german with a russian tongue. He has 10 words memorized.

“ _ Soldat _ ,” he says.

“ _ Ready to comply _ ,” The Winter Soldier replies.

(He sounds nothing like the old recordings.)

 

There is another room, there is an operating table. 

The WInter Soldier lies down.

(The table is cold metal.)

The lab technicians poke needles and knives.

There is another file, 2 pages; mission preparation protocol, mission clearance protocol.

There is a fourth file, 1 page; memory re-calibration protocols.

(This file is hers.)

There is another room, and there is a dentist’s chair, with wires and monitors.

(This room is hers.)

The lab technicians shall assist, the handler when necessary.

(She hopes it will not be.)

The Winter Soldier is a rag doll. It sits on the chair. 

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. It says nothing.

She reads from the file, the lab technicians adjust knobs and wiring. They leave, and she flips the switch.

The Winter Soldier screams.

(She hears it in her sleep.)

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. It says nothing.

One lab technician glances briefly at her. The others work silently. 

The handler is disinterested at the proceedings. He flicks through a book.

They leave the room, and she flips the switch.

The Winter Soldier screams.

(She says nothing.)

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. It says nothing.

The handler looks bored. “It will not reply you.”

She shrugs, barely. 

“What was his mission?” She tries to make conversation.

“An assassination,” the handler replies curtly. The lab technicians scurry around the room, then leave, like mice. The handler watches them.

“Who?” she asks. 

“You’re a smart girl,” the handler says. He leaves the room, and she flips the switch.

The Winter Soldier screams.

(She does not sleep.)

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. It says nothing.

“You’re talkative,” The handler says. 

She shrugs, barely. 

“What are you reading?”

He tilts the cover. It’s about the second world war.

(Ironic.)

One lab technician glances briefly at them, as they leave.

“Is he in there?” She jokes.

“Maybe,” he says. He leaves, too, and she flips the switch.

The Winter Soldier screams.

(She tries to tune it out.)

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. It says nothing.

The handler glances up. He has a new book.

The lab technicians pay them no attention. They leave.

“Happy one year anniversary,” she smiles.

He grins, barely, and leaves. She flips the switch.

The Winter Soldier screams.

(She wonders how much it burns.)

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. It says nothing.

The lab technicians prod with scalpels.

The handler has a new book, their eyes meet, and he goes back to reading. 

They leave. The handler bumps her shoulder as he does, and she bites her lip as flips the switch.

The Winter Soldier screams.

(She doesn’t smile.)

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. It says nothing.

The handler flicks a page. The lab technicians work around her.

“James Buchanan Barnes,” she muses, wondering.

There is a scream, the handler drops his book, the lab technicians dive out of the way.

“ _ Soldat, stop! _ ” He screams out.

The Winter Soldier halts in mid pounce, and crashes to the floor.

“Don’t call it that,” the handler hisses. He drags The Winter Soldier to his feet.

The lab technicians warily get up, they pick up the scattered equipment.

She scrambles up from the floor.

“It’s a trigger word,” the handler says, as he leaves.

She flips the switch, panting.

The Winter Soldier screams.

(The Winter Soldier’s name is a trigger word.)

(The Winter Soldier has a name.)

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. It says nothing.

The lab technicians look cautious.

The handler did not bring a book. He watches her intently, until he leaves.

She takes a ragged breath, and flips the switch.

The Winter Soldier screams.

(The Winter Soldier has a name.)

(The Winter Soldier is screaming.)

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. It says nothing.

The handler has a book, this time. He ignores her, until the lab technicians leave.

“Happy two year,” he grins ruefully.

She bumps shoulders with him, and flips the switch.

The Winter Soldier screams.

(His name is James.)

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. It says nothing.

One of the lab technicians inject The Winter Soldier with a strange fluid. It barely twitches.

The handler bumps her shoulder as he leaves.

(It’s a thing now.)

She flips the switch.

The Winter Soldier- no, James.

James screams.

(She dreams something strapped to the chair.)

(It’s not a gun. It’s a man.)

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. It - he. He says nothing.

The handler looks up worriedly.

One of the lab technicians watch them both, lips pursed.

They leave, and she flips the switch.

James screams.

(It was better when he was a weapon in her head.)

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. He says nothing.

The handler doesn’t have a book. He folds his hands in his lap, and watches her.

The lab technicians leave.

“Stop thinking what you’re thinking,” The handler says.

“That’s a man,” she says.

“No, it’s not,” he tells her, and leaves.

She flips the switch.

“James,” she says.

James screams.

(She thinks of a train.)

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. He says nothing.

The lab technicians stare at her. The handler frowns at them.

They leave. The handler looks at her.

“You see it too,” she says.

“No,” he replies.

She stares at him until he fidgets, then turns to The Win-James. 

“That’s a man,” she says, again.

The handler frowns, deeper.

“No, it’s not,” he says. She watches him leave, and flips the switch. 

James screams.

(She almost does, too.)

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. He says nothing.

The lab technicians hurry with their work, and leave.

“That’s a man,” she says, once the soundproof door slides close.

“Ivanna,” the handler starts, “no, it’s not.”

“Hahn,” she says, “he is.”

They stare at each other.

“That’s going to get you killed,” Hahn says.

She stares at James.

“His name is James,” she says, “you read a book on him.”

Hahn winces.

“It used to be, then,” Hahn concedes, “but not anymore.”

She stares at him as he leaves, and flips the switch.

James screams. 

(That must hurt.)

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. He says nothing.

One of the lab technicians say something to Hahn, that makes him frown deep.

“Ivanna,” he calls out.

She watches the sliding door close. “Hahn.”

There is a brief silence.

“He screams, you know,” she says.

Hahn stares warily at James in the chair.

“Weapons don’t feel pain,” she offers.

Hahn sighs. “Keep your thoughts to yourself, Ivanna.”

“You going to tell people about it, Hahn?” She calls out as he leaves. He doesn’t reply.

She flips the switch. 

James screams.

(That’s a man.)

(That’s a person in the chair.)

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. He says nothing.

The lab technicians close the door as they leave.

“Happy three year,” she says.

Hahn looks up.  “I was talking to James,” she tells him.

“I bet it’s not happy,” Hahn mutters. 

“Emotions are for humans,” she says.

Hahn curses softly.

“That’s a man,” she says, again.

“Quiet, Ivanna,” Hahn sighs. 

“His name is James,” she says. Hahn leaves.

She flips the switch.

“Your name is James Buchanan Barnes,” she says.

James screams.

(Maybe he’s better off dead.)

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. He says nothing.

The lab technicians work around her, and hurry out of the room.

“I bet,” she starts, “he misses Steve.”

Hahn furrows his brow, “what?”

“James,” she hums, “and Steve, were best friends.”

“Ivanna,” Hahn warns.

“Steve Rogers, you know,” she says, “Captain America?”

Hahn drops his book.

She turns around to see James staring at her.

“He’s never done that before,” Hahn says. He reaches around her and flips the switch.

James screams.

(It echoes in her head.)

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. He says nothing.

The lab technicians look worriedly at her, and at Hahn.

Hahn looks pained. He stares at James.

The lab technicians leave, glancing back,

“Last time was the first time you heard him scream,” she guesses.

Hahn winces.

“You called him he, last time, too. Not it,” she tells him, “in case you forgot.”

Hahn winces, again. “I did not.”

“You did,” she nods. Then, “that’s a man.” 

She flips the switch.

James screams. 

(“Yeah,” Hahn says.)

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. He says nothing.

The lab technicians give her wide berth as they walk out the door.

“So,” she starts, “did you see the news?” 

Hahn sighs.

“They found Captain America,” she tells him, “hear that, James? Your best friend’s home.”

Hahn looks up sharply. “Ivanna,” he snaps.

There is a brief silence.

She shrugs. “I bet James would want to know.”

Hahn looks behind her. She turns around to see James staring.

“Remember Steve? Blue eyes, blond hair?” She offers.

“Ivanna,” Hahn growls. He reaches around her and flips the switch.

James screams.

(She thinks of Captain America, and a train.)

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. He says nothing.

The lab technicians file out of the room.

Hahn looks up from his book. There are the words Captain America on the cover.

“You like history?” She asks.

“It was on sale,” Hahn mutters. 

“Wanna go to the Smithsonian? There’s a Captain America exhibit,” she says,

“What, like a date?” Hahn looks a little shy.

“Yeah,” she nods, “like a date.”

“Okay,” Hahn says. He fidgets. 

She turns around. James is staring at them. She flips the switch.

James screams.

(She cries.)

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. He says nothing.

Hahn looks tired. The lab technicians are weary. She thinks one of them is missing.

They leave, sluggish. 

“James,” she tells him tiredly, “aliens.”

Hahn sighs. 

“Captain America was fighting,” she says, “he wore his stupid uniform.”

James stares at her.

Hahn flips the switch.

James screams.

(She cries again, this time.)

(Hahn holds her.)

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. He says nothing.

The lab technicians leave, quicker. 

“Steve,” she says.

James stares at her. 

“Ivanna,” Hahn says.

“Steve,” she repeats.

“S t e v e,” James says.

She thinks her heart stops. Hahn drops his book.

He reaches around her and flips the switch.

James screams.

(She screams.)

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. He says nothing.

The lab technicians poke and prod. The door slides shut behind them.

She takes a shaky breath.

“I think,” she says, “I have a baby.”

“What?” Hahn says.

She touches her belly. He drops his book. 

James is staring at them.

“A baby,” Hahn says, “shit.”

“Yeah,” she says bitterly.

“I didn’t mean that,” Hahn says, quickly.

“James has a mom,” she says.

Hahn sighs. He flips the switch.

James screams. 

(It hurts.)

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. He says nothing.

The lab technicians exchange looks. She’s starting to show.

Hahn glares at them.

They leave, quickly.

She looks at Hahn. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

Hahn looks down, shuffling. “Sorry.”

She sighs, and touches her belly. 

She looks at James. “I want to name him James,” she says.

Hahn’s eyes softened. “Oh?”

“Yeah,” she says, “I’m sorry, James.”

James is staring at her. She thinks she’s crying, already. 

Hahn kisses her forehead, gently. He flips the switch.

James screams.

(She covers her ears and screams.)

 

“ _ Soldat _ ,” she says. He says nothing.

“ _ Soldat _ ,” Pierce says, “make it quick.”

Hahn’s crying. She thinks she is, too.

“Twins, you know,” she tells him, “Steve and James.”

Hahn covers his mouth. 

There’s a gun at her forehead. There’s one to his, too.

“Bye, James. Say hi to Steve for me,” she tells him.

James stares at her.

Pierce grins like a shark. 

 

(She hears a gunshot.)

**Author's Note:**

> oh no.


End file.
